My Penis Envy

  So this is probably going to be one of the most unique things I write here. Especially considering I'm just starting out with my feminization goals. I'm looking forward to having penis envy. Like right now, one of the reasons I know i'm better off becoming a girl is that, even though i see how girls are attractiv, i really have no urge of what to do about it other then admire. I don't have any of that drive guys with cocks have. It shows how superiorly/masculine they are compared to me already. So I'ma  little envious of that.
  I do plan to fully feminize as I'm into the male/female dynamic not the trans thing. I know I'll have penis envy more so after the fact because it will be an impossibility. I like that aspect as it helps keep my perspective. It also signifies cock being a sign of power which I admire. 
   Allow me to elaborate on that a little bit with an example. If i was to have a real man's cock right in front of me there would be to competing thoughts and emotionals. THe first is admiration about how powerful it is and how capable it makes the man. The second would be complete envy that I could never achieve that, wish that I could. And the third would be degradation as the cock is used on me for its pleasure rather then the other way around. 
   On a small side non-fetish note. One thing I pride myself compared to others epsecially when suicide is considered such a huge risk for those fully transitioning. Besides not rushign to do this when I was younger, which i should of, it has allowed me to live enough life to know this is what is right for me. Also i have firm foundational beliefs and likes that coutneract things that do cause mental issues. Fully recognizing and admiring this penis envy which I have and will have even more in the future helps with this.

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