Another goal post past!
Wow, the past few days have been filled with good news and bad news for me. Now I do exaggerate the bad part a little bit, its not really bad news, but undesired news might be the better term. Either way, a few days of mixed feelings for sure. So the big imputus for this new blog entry is I had yet another doctors appointment and had my estrogen levels increased again for my daily dosage. This actually ended up being some of the good news. I started on 2mg then after 4 weeks went up to 4 mg. 8mg is the max dosage and the orginal time line is that I would do 6mg today and then in two months look to see if I shoudl go up to 8mg. Today the doctor decided that its okay for me to go to 8mg, being the max dosage, and doubled the anti-testotorone as well which I thought was already where it should.
So there are certainly different ways to take that. I am on the medically healthy route for all of this, so overall its great news that I can now say that I'm on the max dosage of estrogen. Between that and the new level of anti-testororone, within the next few months my hormone make up should be the same as an early 20's female. So that is all really good and some of the good news that came my way. The part that makes it a mixed bag was that I asked the question today if the timeline of changes I should expect started when I started hormones or start when I get 6mg or estrogen or higher. That timeline beging ballpark figures of when to expect things like decreated muscle, fat redistribution and so on. Turns out that timeline actually starts today and not a litlte over two months ago which I originallyu thought.
So this all annoys me a little bit on many levels. For one, all my long range plans is now 3 months off on that front. I originally planne don going full female this summer under the impression that the beginning of feminization should of started for sure before summer even hits (because it was supposed to start next month). Now it'll happen during the summer. Don't get me wrong, by end of summer, it would have certainly started, but it wipes out any "buffer" i had for working towards the passable. Or more specifically, being more passable as a female then a male, goal. It also tells me that I could of went on higher dosage earlier. I am very confident now in my earlier suspiciions that they were checking my mental conditions before actually taking the point of no return hormone therapy. I understand the reason for it, and they did ask a lot of mental questions, so I understand why this is probably improtant for people who are less sure of this being for them. I also understand the needt o check side effects to not do something dangerous, and this is probably being done the way it should. I still "FEEL" like I could be farther along. The good news though is I've successfully been working otwards this goal both medically, physidcally,exercise for 2-3 months without any set backs though. Now On max estrogen sooner then I origionally expected, and on more anti-testorone then I thought, so overall good.
I think part of the reason the time line thing hit me was I did my weekly weigh in this morning along with my bi-weekly body measurements before going to the doctor. I've now had two weeks of slower weight loss then I was planning on, both my minimum goals and my ideal goals. Now I am still losing weight every week and my measurements were still on track of improving so it most likely is the body recomposition thing hitting me again like it did a month or so ago, but it is so disheartening! My food intake is at the low end of healthy amounts for aggressie/healthy weight loss, my diet is healthier then it has been, and I've been exercising both longer and more rigourous then I have been. So every lifestyle indicator is better then when I was losing weight faster! Once again I know its probably body recomposition of me growing muscle faster then losing fat, and I am losing weight still and I am on track for my body measurements, but that one weight number is so annoying.
If the weight loss doesn't speed back up to normal next week, I'll be looking more towards the end of summer rather then mid summer for my healthy/slim female body weight goal. So thats the crux of why the doctor appointment which was objectively really good, kind of hammered me. Because my realisitc expectations of going full female 24/7 lifestyle is now getting more towards the end of summer then the beginning of summer (my ambitios goal) and mid summer (the realisitc goal). The good news though is that if the slow down in weight loss is because of more muscle growth then the feminization should make me lose weight faster when that part starts. Unfortunately, that part now starts during summer instead of before summer. Hehe, it is so hard not to go with my emotions and cut my diet in half and double my exercise. All of that woul dbe very unhealthy long term wise though. I'll tweak it more for this week, so with luck I'll be back on track this week. To help make myself feel better about my progress, I made myself a pictoral chart so I can more visually see the changes I've made since going full throttle. This one will deal with how close I am to my weight goal along with feminization antics. Once I reach the weight goal this summer, I'll change it to measurements since that is the more long term one and wont be a serious work on till around the 3 month mark.
Continuing with the good news though. I had my voice appointment after the doctor appointment and the therapist was very impressed with the progress I made. She actually commented that she'd be surprised if I will need more then 4 appointments with her since it seems like i'm already there but mainly figuring out the details of it. She also commented that my normal voice is sounding more feminine now before I even make it higher pitch which is really good. Once I get in the habit of practiing my fem voice more, I think I might get more ambitious then just feminine/passable and really work on the quality as well.
The other good news, and this might just be me being hopeful, is when I was on the treadmill earlier this week, my chest started hurting from bouncing up and down a little bit. Completely caught me off guard. It felt better when I started holding my chest in place, and I noticed that my nipples, or right below them are feeling more tender. It got a littl better the past few days, but they are still tender and I do feel a little pain when I start running. THis is probably strong indications that my breast are starting to feel the implications of the estrogen I have been taking. Also, the fact that I'm apparently not supposed to be seeing changes till three months from now means that I'll rpobably respond will to the feminization. :) This is also probably the first annoyance of womanhood I'll have to deal with.
The good news at least with hormones starting muscle decreasing 3 months from now along with the fast redistribution gives confirmation that any slow down in weight loss I've had recently was most likely from the increase muscle mass, which means I should catch up the lost time 3 months from now, hehe.
July 2019 - Started facial hair removal.
September 2019 - Exercise of 10-14 hours a week with a cardio/glutes/abs focus.
November 2019 - Changed diet to low calorie mostly healthy foods.
November 2019 - Started spironolactone testosterone blocker.
December 2019- Started estrogen and doubled testosterone block dosage.
January 2020 - Appointment to check progress and double estrogen dosage.
January 2020 - Start voice training with professional.
February 2020 - Appointment to check progress and increase estrogen to max dosage. Doubled ant- testosterone.
April 2020 - Appointment to check reaction to increased dosages.
*This is my "phase 1" goal progress. Once achieved, I'll begin "phase 2" which right now will most likely be getting the best female body measurements I can.
So there are certainly different ways to take that. I am on the medically healthy route for all of this, so overall its great news that I can now say that I'm on the max dosage of estrogen. Between that and the new level of anti-testororone, within the next few months my hormone make up should be the same as an early 20's female. So that is all really good and some of the good news that came my way. The part that makes it a mixed bag was that I asked the question today if the timeline of changes I should expect started when I started hormones or start when I get 6mg or estrogen or higher. That timeline beging ballpark figures of when to expect things like decreated muscle, fat redistribution and so on. Turns out that timeline actually starts today and not a litlte over two months ago which I originallyu thought.
So this all annoys me a little bit on many levels. For one, all my long range plans is now 3 months off on that front. I originally planne don going full female this summer under the impression that the beginning of feminization should of started for sure before summer even hits (because it was supposed to start next month). Now it'll happen during the summer. Don't get me wrong, by end of summer, it would have certainly started, but it wipes out any "buffer" i had for working towards the passable. Or more specifically, being more passable as a female then a male, goal. It also tells me that I could of went on higher dosage earlier. I am very confident now in my earlier suspiciions that they were checking my mental conditions before actually taking the point of no return hormone therapy. I understand the reason for it, and they did ask a lot of mental questions, so I understand why this is probably improtant for people who are less sure of this being for them. I also understand the needt o check side effects to not do something dangerous, and this is probably being done the way it should. I still "FEEL" like I could be farther along. The good news though is I've successfully been working otwards this goal both medically, physidcally,exercise for 2-3 months without any set backs though. Now On max estrogen sooner then I origionally expected, and on more anti-testorone then I thought, so overall good.
I think part of the reason the time line thing hit me was I did my weekly weigh in this morning along with my bi-weekly body measurements before going to the doctor. I've now had two weeks of slower weight loss then I was planning on, both my minimum goals and my ideal goals. Now I am still losing weight every week and my measurements were still on track of improving so it most likely is the body recomposition thing hitting me again like it did a month or so ago, but it is so disheartening! My food intake is at the low end of healthy amounts for aggressie/healthy weight loss, my diet is healthier then it has been, and I've been exercising both longer and more rigourous then I have been. So every lifestyle indicator is better then when I was losing weight faster! Once again I know its probably body recomposition of me growing muscle faster then losing fat, and I am losing weight still and I am on track for my body measurements, but that one weight number is so annoying.
If the weight loss doesn't speed back up to normal next week, I'll be looking more towards the end of summer rather then mid summer for my healthy/slim female body weight goal. So thats the crux of why the doctor appointment which was objectively really good, kind of hammered me. Because my realisitc expectations of going full female 24/7 lifestyle is now getting more towards the end of summer then the beginning of summer (my ambitios goal) and mid summer (the realisitc goal). The good news though is that if the slow down in weight loss is because of more muscle growth then the feminization should make me lose weight faster when that part starts. Unfortunately, that part now starts during summer instead of before summer. Hehe, it is so hard not to go with my emotions and cut my diet in half and double my exercise. All of that woul dbe very unhealthy long term wise though. I'll tweak it more for this week, so with luck I'll be back on track this week. To help make myself feel better about my progress, I made myself a pictoral chart so I can more visually see the changes I've made since going full throttle. This one will deal with how close I am to my weight goal along with feminization antics. Once I reach the weight goal this summer, I'll change it to measurements since that is the more long term one and wont be a serious work on till around the 3 month mark.
Continuing with the good news though. I had my voice appointment after the doctor appointment and the therapist was very impressed with the progress I made. She actually commented that she'd be surprised if I will need more then 4 appointments with her since it seems like i'm already there but mainly figuring out the details of it. She also commented that my normal voice is sounding more feminine now before I even make it higher pitch which is really good. Once I get in the habit of practiing my fem voice more, I think I might get more ambitious then just feminine/passable and really work on the quality as well.
The other good news, and this might just be me being hopeful, is when I was on the treadmill earlier this week, my chest started hurting from bouncing up and down a little bit. Completely caught me off guard. It felt better when I started holding my chest in place, and I noticed that my nipples, or right below them are feeling more tender. It got a littl better the past few days, but they are still tender and I do feel a little pain when I start running. THis is probably strong indications that my breast are starting to feel the implications of the estrogen I have been taking. Also, the fact that I'm apparently not supposed to be seeing changes till three months from now means that I'll rpobably respond will to the feminization. :) This is also probably the first annoyance of womanhood I'll have to deal with.
The good news at least with hormones starting muscle decreasing 3 months from now along with the fast redistribution gives confirmation that any slow down in weight loss I've had recently was most likely from the increase muscle mass, which means I should catch up the lost time 3 months from now, hehe.
July 2019 - Started facial hair removal.
September 2019 - Exercise of 10-14 hours a week with a cardio/glutes/abs focus.
November 2019 - Changed diet to low calorie mostly healthy foods.
November 2019 - Started spironolactone testosterone blocker.
December 2019- Started estrogen and doubled testosterone block dosage.
January 2020 - Appointment to check progress and double estrogen dosage.
January 2020 - Start voice training with professional.
February 2020 - Appointment to check progress and increase estrogen to max dosage. Doubled ant- testosterone.
April 2020 - Appointment to check reaction to increased dosages.
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