Force Feminization
Wow! This has been a tough two weeks for me. I'll probably write about it at some point in the next month, but bottom line is that it was my first setback on my feminization as a result. Not really set back as road bump and was a result of stuff unrelated to the feminization, But anyways, thats not the topic for this particular blog entry.
So, something that has always facinated me and is one of the many things I've tried to figure out, is the concept of force feminization. Now, in this case, its largely relegated to kink, so talking about it as an actual thing is already an oxymoron. Furthermore, there is the saying "can you force the willing." So would this really apply to me since I'm willingly working towards feminization? And yet, my stance, or thoughts toward it, or how much it applies to me has been an enigma for me which I can't quite put my finger on.
I think I'll detour a little bit from it for context. One thing that has become more and more obvious to me is how different I am then others who are going through feminization. It seems like so many people who do this see it as the defining aspect of who they are. If they don't fall into that category, then they fall into the kink/fetish category. I cant give many examples of this, and honestly this may be a topic for a future blog entry when something triggers me on the topic. But the point of this paragraph is that feminization in no ways defines my life right now or who I am. Its just something that is happening. Kind of like how someone just loses weight while being who they are. Or someone going to school. Its just happening.
Now don't get me wrong. Outside of work committment, I'm easily putting more time every week into my feminization goals then anything else. Like a lot. I'm taking it very seriously. But its not really a driving force for me. Or better to say, not my driving force in life. Its just me reorientating to what I should be.
I know a common phrase is a feeling uncomfortable in your body as a reason for feminization. That really has never been the case for me. I've always felt comfortable with my body, except I hate that I'm tall, but thats only because I should be a girl. Perhaps a better way to put my feelings is the my soul is female. I've mentioned before that I've really failed being a guy on multiple fronts. In a lot of ways thats what I feel. I tried doin gthe guy thing and I failed at it. I've always related to girls, felt liked i'd more naturally be in their role, all of that stuff.
Because this is something that is happening to me while I continue with my life, let me talk about my approach to it. I did not jump into everything girly. Watching only girly media, doing make up every day, trying to dress female as often as possible and all of that stuff you may think. Instead its been more of a practical apporach. What takes the longest on feminization? Physically adjusting, so do that first. What then takes longest while thats going on. Voice feminization. And basically doing whats needed without jumping into all things feminine.
So I talked in an earlier post about male privilege. Specifically how there are luxeries in my life that I'm losing. For example, I have to wear a sports bra when I work out now. If I dont, I can barely exercise. So this is a female clothing item I'm working with not because I want to do it right now, but because I have too. I take pictures of myself every two weeks to monitor my progress. Because I need it to be accurate for 6 months down the line, 2 years and so on, its basically a bikini pic which requires me to stay shaven smooth all the time. Once again, not because I want to feel feminine, but because those would be totally gross pictures otherwise.
Now let me pause for a second, because I may be sounding like I dont want to be feminized and thats not the case. I'm trying to explain how I feel about it and thus give segway into the forced feminization thing. One reason I know I'm doing the right thing is I haven't regretted the decision for even a fraction of a second. Think about that. It would of been natural to regret such a big life changing decision. Or at least second guess it. But I never had that thought once so far. I constantly questioned rather I should start feminization for my ENTIRE LIFE! But since starting I never regreteed starting it. Honestly, the only thing tha tgives me pause is the eventual sex change surgery, but even that is a certainty. Kind of like knowing your going to boot camp for the military. Not looking forward to it, but once you enlist, not getting out of it.
So with that context, it makes me wonder how much force feminization applies to me. In a sense it does. I tried going the male route, but was kind of forced out of it. I haven't been jupming into female clothing eveyr chance I get. But now I'm forced to wear a bra several hours a day. So just life itself is hitting me. At some point this year, it will start being harder to pass as a man then as a woman, and at that point, I'll have pretty much no choice but to start living as a female. Not I'm not miserable over any of this, and as I mentioned, I have no regrets or even close to second guessing, but its interesting how everythign that is happening towards my feminiation is not me jumping into it, but more going with the flow of life.
Usually, when one thinks of forced feminization, one things of someone forcing me to feminizae rather I want that or not. I've always found that concept attractive, but I don't know why to be honest. As I mentioned, I'm feminizing with no one forcing me after all. At first, before I started, I thought maybe its because it would take away the guilt. Knowing I didn't have a choice. But I dont feel guilty or wrong at all with my feminization. Thus maybe its just a sign of attraction. I'm attracted to dominant men how are so masculine they force me into a female role? I'm not sure. I'll probably write about this sometime in the future as I figure more of it out. Kind of like the bimbo thing.
My philosophy in life has always been kind of go with the flow and where life takes me. For example, I'm continueing working towards a career, my creative interestes, my hobbies, personal projects and so on. If I did become a housewife, it would not be because I wanted it, but because the man wanted it. Thus is that more forced feminization? And yet, i'm drawn to that idea. Hehe, anyways, i'll write more about this in the future I'm sure. But now the new spark into one of my internal struggles to understand myself has now been peaked at.
So, something that has always facinated me and is one of the many things I've tried to figure out, is the concept of force feminization. Now, in this case, its largely relegated to kink, so talking about it as an actual thing is already an oxymoron. Furthermore, there is the saying "can you force the willing." So would this really apply to me since I'm willingly working towards feminization? And yet, my stance, or thoughts toward it, or how much it applies to me has been an enigma for me which I can't quite put my finger on.
I think I'll detour a little bit from it for context. One thing that has become more and more obvious to me is how different I am then others who are going through feminization. It seems like so many people who do this see it as the defining aspect of who they are. If they don't fall into that category, then they fall into the kink/fetish category. I cant give many examples of this, and honestly this may be a topic for a future blog entry when something triggers me on the topic. But the point of this paragraph is that feminization in no ways defines my life right now or who I am. Its just something that is happening. Kind of like how someone just loses weight while being who they are. Or someone going to school. Its just happening.
Now don't get me wrong. Outside of work committment, I'm easily putting more time every week into my feminization goals then anything else. Like a lot. I'm taking it very seriously. But its not really a driving force for me. Or better to say, not my driving force in life. Its just me reorientating to what I should be.
I know a common phrase is a feeling uncomfortable in your body as a reason for feminization. That really has never been the case for me. I've always felt comfortable with my body, except I hate that I'm tall, but thats only because I should be a girl. Perhaps a better way to put my feelings is the my soul is female. I've mentioned before that I've really failed being a guy on multiple fronts. In a lot of ways thats what I feel. I tried doin gthe guy thing and I failed at it. I've always related to girls, felt liked i'd more naturally be in their role, all of that stuff.
Because this is something that is happening to me while I continue with my life, let me talk about my approach to it. I did not jump into everything girly. Watching only girly media, doing make up every day, trying to dress female as often as possible and all of that stuff you may think. Instead its been more of a practical apporach. What takes the longest on feminization? Physically adjusting, so do that first. What then takes longest while thats going on. Voice feminization. And basically doing whats needed without jumping into all things feminine.
So I talked in an earlier post about male privilege. Specifically how there are luxeries in my life that I'm losing. For example, I have to wear a sports bra when I work out now. If I dont, I can barely exercise. So this is a female clothing item I'm working with not because I want to do it right now, but because I have too. I take pictures of myself every two weeks to monitor my progress. Because I need it to be accurate for 6 months down the line, 2 years and so on, its basically a bikini pic which requires me to stay shaven smooth all the time. Once again, not because I want to feel feminine, but because those would be totally gross pictures otherwise.
Now let me pause for a second, because I may be sounding like I dont want to be feminized and thats not the case. I'm trying to explain how I feel about it and thus give segway into the forced feminization thing. One reason I know I'm doing the right thing is I haven't regretted the decision for even a fraction of a second. Think about that. It would of been natural to regret such a big life changing decision. Or at least second guess it. But I never had that thought once so far. I constantly questioned rather I should start feminization for my ENTIRE LIFE! But since starting I never regreteed starting it. Honestly, the only thing tha tgives me pause is the eventual sex change surgery, but even that is a certainty. Kind of like knowing your going to boot camp for the military. Not looking forward to it, but once you enlist, not getting out of it.
So with that context, it makes me wonder how much force feminization applies to me. In a sense it does. I tried going the male route, but was kind of forced out of it. I haven't been jupming into female clothing eveyr chance I get. But now I'm forced to wear a bra several hours a day. So just life itself is hitting me. At some point this year, it will start being harder to pass as a man then as a woman, and at that point, I'll have pretty much no choice but to start living as a female. Not I'm not miserable over any of this, and as I mentioned, I have no regrets or even close to second guessing, but its interesting how everythign that is happening towards my feminiation is not me jumping into it, but more going with the flow of life.
Usually, when one thinks of forced feminization, one things of someone forcing me to feminizae rather I want that or not. I've always found that concept attractive, but I don't know why to be honest. As I mentioned, I'm feminizing with no one forcing me after all. At first, before I started, I thought maybe its because it would take away the guilt. Knowing I didn't have a choice. But I dont feel guilty or wrong at all with my feminization. Thus maybe its just a sign of attraction. I'm attracted to dominant men how are so masculine they force me into a female role? I'm not sure. I'll probably write about this sometime in the future as I figure more of it out. Kind of like the bimbo thing.
My philosophy in life has always been kind of go with the flow and where life takes me. For example, I'm continueing working towards a career, my creative interestes, my hobbies, personal projects and so on. If I did become a housewife, it would not be because I wanted it, but because the man wanted it. Thus is that more forced feminization? And yet, i'm drawn to that idea. Hehe, anyways, i'll write more about this in the future I'm sure. But now the new spark into one of my internal struggles to understand myself has now been peaked at.
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