Point of No Return #3
So I haven't really highlighted this much in earlier postings. But something happened this week that really emphasized these benchmarks of "point of no return." What I mean by that is when something happens that make it incredibly more difficult to back out of my feminization if I chose too. Which I dont plan too ofcourse, but they are still big benchmarks because they kind of drive home what happened.
The first one was starting to taking hormones at all. Basically once you start them, you pretty much take away the ability to have kids with it becoming pretty much 100% after a month or 2. Not a super big deal since nobody ever has to know thats the reason and I did do a small sample to a sperm bank just in case.
The second one was when my breast started getting sensitive and tender. The reasons is one of the main things that cannot be reversed after going on hormones is breast growth. This started a few weeks ago (not if they're growing yet), but basically now every week I say on hormones, the breast will proabbly be growing and it cannot be undone without surgery.
And now number three. This is easily the most significant so far. I alerted my current job of my transition/feminization goals with a nice long meeting this week. I made it very clear that unless I felt 100% welcomed (so far I have been before this talk) I'll probably find new employment. This post istn't talking about that aspect so please dont message me about legal protections. I'll never force myself on other people including work. Anyways, this basically puts my public work life into being known as a transgender woman in the short to medium term and then as a female long term. Much harder to step back on, especially with social media, connectedness of work places and stuff like that. So yes, that cat is out of the bag.
We'll see if I keep my current employment in the coming weeks. The meeting went well, but there are several outside factors given the type of career I'm in that may make it best for all parties involved for me to go. If that is the case, I'll probably strongly consider a career change into tech. The reason for this is because tech (probably some form of programming) is a growing field, I have close to qualifications for it, makes more money then I do now, and I can move pretty much anywhere with my starting from scratch. :) I would have to retrain a little bit though, so hopefully I'll know what I'll be doing sooner rather then later so I can prepare.
On a side note on that, some of you who have seen my earlier entries may be like hey!!! There are some contradictions here. First I talk about interested of traditional gender roles and being open to be a housewife and I'm talking career stuff. Well the truth is I have to plan on worst case scenerios. Right now that worst case is I'll be single for many more years with my transitioning so I should plan on having to support myself.
THe second things would be that hey! I'm qualified to do computer programming, thats pretty smart stuff compared to questioning my own intelligence. Hehe, yes you kind of got me there. I'll probably do a bigger blog entry on this in the future if it does start to happen, but the gist of it is I'll need a man to decide how much into the simple minded route I'll go. I'm still single. And being able to have a skill is not quite the same thing being "street smart." And perhaps it will just give me a higher peak to 'fall' from when it does happen. I do like beaing creative and I got into programming a little bit because I can be creative from home.
Anyways, to stay on topic, the next pont of No Return that I can think of coming and has slowly been set in motion now, is to change my name and gender on all my legal documents. I have been trying to time that as reasonably close to when I go living female all the time (around the end of summer). But with the possibilitiy of looking for a new job coming, I should probably start that process now to reduce confusion in future employment and also be more transparent/up front. So my plan on that is once I know if i'm going to a new job, I'll file the paper work. If I stay at my current job, I'll probably wait one more month. Basically I'm willing to error a little after my lifestyle change if i keep current job, but I rather error a little before it if I look for a new job.
The first one was starting to taking hormones at all. Basically once you start them, you pretty much take away the ability to have kids with it becoming pretty much 100% after a month or 2. Not a super big deal since nobody ever has to know thats the reason and I did do a small sample to a sperm bank just in case.
The second one was when my breast started getting sensitive and tender. The reasons is one of the main things that cannot be reversed after going on hormones is breast growth. This started a few weeks ago (not if they're growing yet), but basically now every week I say on hormones, the breast will proabbly be growing and it cannot be undone without surgery.
And now number three. This is easily the most significant so far. I alerted my current job of my transition/feminization goals with a nice long meeting this week. I made it very clear that unless I felt 100% welcomed (so far I have been before this talk) I'll probably find new employment. This post istn't talking about that aspect so please dont message me about legal protections. I'll never force myself on other people including work. Anyways, this basically puts my public work life into being known as a transgender woman in the short to medium term and then as a female long term. Much harder to step back on, especially with social media, connectedness of work places and stuff like that. So yes, that cat is out of the bag.
We'll see if I keep my current employment in the coming weeks. The meeting went well, but there are several outside factors given the type of career I'm in that may make it best for all parties involved for me to go. If that is the case, I'll probably strongly consider a career change into tech. The reason for this is because tech (probably some form of programming) is a growing field, I have close to qualifications for it, makes more money then I do now, and I can move pretty much anywhere with my starting from scratch. :) I would have to retrain a little bit though, so hopefully I'll know what I'll be doing sooner rather then later so I can prepare.
On a side note on that, some of you who have seen my earlier entries may be like hey!!! There are some contradictions here. First I talk about interested of traditional gender roles and being open to be a housewife and I'm talking career stuff. Well the truth is I have to plan on worst case scenerios. Right now that worst case is I'll be single for many more years with my transitioning so I should plan on having to support myself.
THe second things would be that hey! I'm qualified to do computer programming, thats pretty smart stuff compared to questioning my own intelligence. Hehe, yes you kind of got me there. I'll probably do a bigger blog entry on this in the future if it does start to happen, but the gist of it is I'll need a man to decide how much into the simple minded route I'll go. I'm still single. And being able to have a skill is not quite the same thing being "street smart." And perhaps it will just give me a higher peak to 'fall' from when it does happen. I do like beaing creative and I got into programming a little bit because I can be creative from home.
Anyways, to stay on topic, the next pont of No Return that I can think of coming and has slowly been set in motion now, is to change my name and gender on all my legal documents. I have been trying to time that as reasonably close to when I go living female all the time (around the end of summer). But with the possibilitiy of looking for a new job coming, I should probably start that process now to reduce confusion in future employment and also be more transparent/up front. So my plan on that is once I know if i'm going to a new job, I'll file the paper work. If I stay at my current job, I'll probably wait one more month. Basically I'm willing to error a little after my lifestyle change if i keep current job, but I rather error a little before it if I look for a new job.
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