Tiffani's Life

    So one thing I've been wondering about ever since I started hormones was what the emotional effects would be. Most people who are at least a little aware of HRT knows a little about the emotional changes. Kind of like going through puberty again is one description I've heard. And for better or for worst, women are a little most attached or controlled by their emotions then men. Also its usually hard to tell changes in yourself, and I have that doubly so, so I was curious on how much I would realize the change.    Furthermore, I've always had incredible control over my emotions. When I say I have strong control over them, I dont think I've ever met someone who has better control over their emotions then I do. Now, don't get me wrong, I have the emotions and one of the reasons I have such strong control over them now is because I have them to such a huge degree I learned from a young age that when I go with what those urges are, it usually doesn't end up wel...

   So this may not be exactly what you think the posting is about given what the title is, but it is accurate for maybe giving some insight into my thinking. I've never been a fan of role playing or pretending to be what I'm not. Its probably the main reason I never really got into Dungeon and Dragons though one would think given my nerdiness I would love it. I might get over the roleplaying aspect a little bit as I learn to let loose more and not have to control my emotions as much as I used too.    Well, the role playing thing isn't the purpose of this blog entry anyways, I use it only as an example to give context to my personality. So, one thing that is different on me compared to a lot in my situation is that I don't have an interest in pretending to be a girl till I'm more girl then boy. Same with the man thing, I dont like pretending to be a man (which is what i've been doing for a long time) but physically speaking, I'm still closer to that then fe...

  There is a statistics concept that you know something is random if things happen in clusters. The idea is if things are evenly spaced out, its not really random since it is predictable. Random means you have gaps on an event and then an event happening a bunch of times. In sciences the same thing is true. Things rarely happen slowly over time, but happen in rapid succession in short periods of time, followed by slow progress again.    So why do I start with this, because I've been having very slow progress for about 3-4 weeks now and many real life set backs. Now to qualify this, I dont mean failures as much as things just making life more difficult. For example, it was emotionally tough to have the discussion with my employer about rather I'll be looking for a new job or not. I had some personal things happen that really pushed my emotional core about 3 weeks ago which I won't go into detail about. My progression weight wise has been slower then I would of liked whic...

   So I haven't really highlighted this much in earlier postings. But something happened this week that really emphasized these benchmarks of "point of no return." What I mean by that is when something happens that make it incredibly more difficult to back out of my feminization if I chose too. Which I dont plan too ofcourse, but they are still big benchmarks because they kind of drive home what happened.    The first one was starting to taking hormones at all. Basically once you start them, you pretty much take away the ability to have kids with it becoming pretty much 100% after a month or 2. Not a super big deal since nobody ever has to know thats the reason and I did do a small sample to a sperm bank just in case.   The second one was when my breast started getting sensitive and tender. The reasons is one of the main things that cannot be reversed after going on hormones is breast growth. This started a few weeks ago (not if they're growing yet), but bas...

  So one thing I've been working on off and on is my voice. I believe I'm getting better at it, but it is soooo like the hardest thing to feel like I'm making progress on. Its like everytime I get a little better on what to do, everythign bounces out of wack and I feel like I lose 2 weeks or something progress. I still have no doubt I'll be able to make it passable by the time I need it, but one of the hardest things right now is feedback. Furthermore, my goal isn't just to have a passable voice, but to have a sexy feminine voice because I dont aim for anyting less then becoming the best girl I can.   I've gotten tools to help me with this. I have a phone ap that helps monitor my pitch. I have the same on the computer along with software to analyze formants and things like that. And sheesh ive been learning so much about music, singing, voice, different between men and women, speech patterns, resonance, range and all kinds of things. I'm not going to go in...